


Marry Me

by Kerjen



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-03-24 20:32:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13818909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kerjen/pseuds/Kerjen
Summary: Spock and Saavik have been so careful in showing what they dream of with each other. Now it's time to open themselves and say, "Am I the one you chose?" Updated with chapter 3: The Proposal!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My good friend Martha is very ill; I asked her what could I do for her and, surprisingly, she asked me to write this. So, for Martha.

Saavik ignored the background sounds around her like everyone else on the station's concourse and stepped down into the small lounge. The man seated at a table along the large windows perked up when he saw her.

"There you are!" McCoy rose out of an old sense of gallantry and pulled out her chair for the same reason. She used to insist it was unnecessary, but it was illogical to continue when the other person ignored her.

"Did you think I would not arrive, Doctor?"

"No, I know better." Their plans intersected here above Earth at its orbital station and McCoy had suggested getting together before they had to go their separate ways.

The civilian scientists blended in with the lounge's neutral coloring of light and dark grays, unlike the red Starfleet uniforms, even with the white lights in the table surfaces. No starship was docked right outside the windows, opening the view to the station's full interior. If the spacedock was its own universe, their window would be one distant star.

Someone yelled, "Turn that up! Computer, elevate the ninth input!" and a newsfeed took the center large screen on the far wall.

"Repeating our special bulletin -" The human woman - white, blonde, and middle-aged - announced, "Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan has left negotiations on Kachides to return home due to an illness. The diplomatic party's physician revealed the premier envoy has contracted the Ehines Virus, a sickness that can be fatal to Vulcans. We will bring you further details as we find them."

 _Sarek_. _Ill._

In that one second, all the other news feeds reported the story, adding the ambassador's son returned no calls but had left for Vulcan. Members of the Vulcan's staff gave no further details either but continually emphasized that Sarek had left his post and he did it because of an illness fatal to his people.

Saavik stared at the screens. So did McCoy. With no word, they each turned their head from the news to each other. With the same quiet, in unison motion, they stood, pulled out their communicators, and marched from the lounge, hard and fast, joining the flow of other Starfleet uniforms.

"This is Commander Saavik. I require the quickest passage to Vulcan."

McCoy equally shouted orders. "Clear everything on my schedule. I'm going to Vulcan – haven't you heard about the ambassador? I need a ship!"

The man on the opposite end of Saavik said he was sorry, but they had nothing to meet her needs. Except they did: the USS _Kelkonn_. It was fast, had a flight plan to take it to Vulcan, and it left immediately.

A commander's rank was high up and she had the record and reputation to back it. But it was still a commander; not enough to get an instantaneous seat on the departing ship.

Which made it very fortunate to have a certain doctor with her. She simply held her communicator closer to him. "Yes, _THAT_ Leonard McCoy! I'm the _only_ Leonard McCoy in the fleet. No, I'm not going alone. I have Commander Saavik with me. Get us-!" She pointed out a name on a board to him. "-to the _Kelkonn_!"

The ship in question cleared her moorings. He talked faster.

"If that's the way you want to play, then I remind you it's _Admiral_ Leonard McCoy. And if you have a problem with her coming along – which you had better not – contact Ambassador Sarek's or Ambassador Spock's office. But I'm warning you. I'm not putting you back together when they find out you prevented her from coming!"

Station doors opened for the leaving starship. The same station where Kirk and the others had stolen the _Enterprise_ and disabled the _Excelsior_.

Saving her and Spock.

The man on the other end of her line rushed back. "Commander, you're set for the _Kelkonn_. But your luggage was already sent to your original ship. We're trying to find it to beam it over."

McCoy was being told the same thing. He patted the medical kit he usually carried. "Got all I need if it comes down to it."

"Agreed," Saavik said into her communicator. "Our belongings can follow us if they must. They are merely clothing. You must transport us before the ship enters warp speed outside the station."

"Standby to beam out," both communicators announced almost in harmony.

"It's going to be alright," McCoy said quietly.

Saavik thought he reassured himself, but right before the transporter took them, she realized he meant it for her.

The thought followed her as she became solid again aboard the ship.

_The premier envoy has contracted a sickness that can be fatal to Vulcans._

_Fatal_.

Saavik pulled her disciplines into place. She served Sarek – and Spock – no good otherwise and with that, she told the doctor she would check in with him shortly. She followed the ensign to her cabin and researched what she could. She entered McCoy's quarters soon after that. The ship's captain had told them he pushed the engines to the limit, but Vulcan was 16 light years from Earth.

McCoy sat on the pale gray couch under the center portal in the sitting area. He shot up to his feet. "Any word?"

She shook her head. "I cannot speak with anyone except for the same diplomatic aides. They have no more news than earlier reports."

He sunk back into his seat, his hands folded, and his head drooped. The only sound between them now was the ever-present hum of the ship. She watched the stars streak by and listened to the engines, even felt the oh-so-tiny vibration in the deck under the carpet. But her mind focused on a spot far away.

"Penny for your thoughts."

Saavik understood the idiom and McCoy knew that so he didn't explain it. She crossed to the desk opposite them and ordered. "Vulcan news channel."

She also activated the Universal Translator. "The news channel did not give the information I expected."

"You figured less drama, more facts."

"In a matter of speaking, yes. The only difference is the new discussion on Sarek's age and how it may affect the illness. They made it clear Sarek is not the geriatric others have made him. In addition, they reported the Kachides leadership bears no ill will for Sarek's leaving. In fact, they encouraged him to do so, saying they had completed the major points. Our remaining diplomatic party is doing well despite his absence."

"All right, that's the logical thoughts. Now let's hear the illogical ones." She began to protest, and he waved it away. "We're not saying you're giving into them. We're only saying what would they be if you had them."

She admitted after a moment, "Sarek could be… dying." _When we lost years acting against each other_. When he was here at last and they surprised each other by needing that.

"Yeah." McCoy sounded the same as her. "Hard to believe that's even possible." But he'd lost such people before. She felt when his eyes came back to her. "Something else too, isn't there?"

She stared at a spot on the carpet and her mind transported back decades ago and an empty place next to a bedside. "I did not reach Amanda before she died. …I… do not want to repeat it with Sarek."

McCoy leaned forward as far as he could to be near her. "Do you know what a human would say about thinking like that?"

Saavik replied, "'Don't worry about things you can't control.'"

"That's true, but I was thinking of-"

"'Worrying will never change the outcome.'"

"Also true-"

"'Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace.'"

"Another good one, but-"

"'Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate.'"

He chuckled. "I surrender." She dipped her head. "Are all those from Earth?"

"They are."

"Hoisted by my own petard then!" The chuckle drifted off. "I do wish Spock would answer. I don't get why he doesn't." Saavik gave him a pointed stare. "I know what you're saying with that look, but even if Sarek was bad off, that's even more reason for him to talk to at least one of us."

"If Sarek is 'bad off', it is more reason why Spock is unavailable."

She could try someone else in the family. She knew several well and they may tell her more. Surprising that no one in the media or diplomatic channels hadn't done it.

_If only T'Pau-_

But the Elder had been gone for decades and it was illogical to wish otherwise.

Saavik considered having McCoy contact the head of Sarek's family. After all, he saved James T. Kirk's life at T'Pring's challenge, and by that, he saved Spock too. Then he brought Spock's _katra_ home making the rebirth possible. Vulcan, let alone the family, held McCoy in the highest regard. As Amanda used to say, he could demand anything, what the doctor called 'playing the _fal tor pan_ card'.

But.

Logic and those Earth sayings stated that Saavik had been given what information was available and nothing would change it.

The doctor sighed. "Sixteen light years never felt so long."

Saavik looked back at him and lifted her own eyebrows.

"That's what you say," he rejoined.

. . . .

The coordinates Saavik gave the _Kelkonn_ 's transporter chief put her and McCoy right in front of Sarek's home. Like any Vulcan house, it wasn't locked, but the high-ranking envoy must have security. A security sensor, therefore, caught Saavik and the doctor as they rushed past and informed Sarek and Spock's staff someone was here, who they were, and that they had clearance. Once past the panel, they entered so quickly, they caught the diplomatic staff running to meet them.

Saavik recognized some of them and fired off orders. "We need an immediate report on Ambassador Sarek's condition and time with his physician if he is present. Inform Ambassador Spock we are here and require speaking with him. Sarek, however, is the priority. We will have further queries for you afterward."

One young human started to argue, but another man next to him grabbed his arm and said, "Come on."

McCoy said with a mock calm, "So, you can tell the staff here what to do?"

"Your meaning?"

"Nothing," he replied as if completely innocent. "Simply taking note of it."

The upper windows - open to take advantage of the still cool morning breeze coming from the desert - suddenly closed as the sky darkened and winds picked up, signaling a storm coming through. A young Vulcan male in aide's dress dutifully asked if the ambassadors expected them.

McCoy answered, "They should. It's only logical."

The aide didn't know what to do with that.

"Spock!" Saavik cut through this and the foyer when she saw him, so that she was immediately in front of him in full force. His eyebrows shot up at the sight of her. "What is Sarek's medical status? Why have you not answered our attempts to speak with you?"'

His brows drew together. "You have not heard the public reports we made?"

McCoy answered, "They don't say a hell of a lot and they haven't changed one bit since the first one. Nobody knows anything."

Spock returned to Saavik. "And you hurried here?"

"Yes, I hurried here," she nearly snapped. What else would he expect? Why didn't he just answer? "He has become a father to me. Of course, I immediately… came… here." She realized what she had said. Even with his indicating it was all right, she needed to tell him, "Spock, I naturally do not compare his being your father to my association with him."

He searched her gaze before he verbally answered it was all right, and she held on to his with hers. She breathed easier already, now that she had reached him.

"Make eyes at each other later!" McCoy broke in. "Spock, how is Sarek?!"

"Sarek," another deep voice answered, "is healing well."

The man in question stood there in a light nightgown with red piping and a thin white robe over it. He cupped one hand over the other in front of him as he often did. His pallor was good, but Saavik noticed he moved a touch slower than normal and had slight yellow spots on his eyelids. She had stopped using a nasal inhibitor this morning for this exact reason and picked up a medicinal smell about him as well as something sour, ugly, and foreign: the virus.

Still, Sarek stood straight and strong as if the illness was something he'd easily shed when he changed his robes.

McCoy got in first and Saavik decided she didn't mind. He'd know the best questions to ask.

"It's good to see you, Ambassador. I'm sorry for being blunt, but It's been light years since we knew what was going on. What's your doctor say?"

"You may ask him yourself." Sarek gestured and another Vulcan male came forward, as slim as Spock and with his coloring. He frowned over this summons to a random pair of people but clearly said nothing as his patient respected them. He watched McCoy as if he had seen the doctor somewhere.

"Healer," Spock spoke, "may I introduce Doctor Leonard McCoy? You will likely know his connection to our family."

The confusion cleared. "Of course, your reputation is well known. My apologies for not recognizing you and your interests in the situation." The healer touched the controls of his Vulcan tricorder and handed it to McCoy. "Those records will inform you of all you need to know."

"I read up on Ehines Virus, but I'll need to ask you some questions."

"Understandable."

Saavik decided not to wait any longer. "An overview perhaps for the rest of us? Should you," she asked Sarek, "be out here rather than your room?"

"I would still be in my room," he replied, "if I had not heard a raised voice ordering my staff."

"I did not raise my voice," she protested.

"Perhaps volume is in the ear of the beholder as beauty is in the eye."

She could be equally stubborn. "May I take this as a sign of good health?" _Let me take it as a sign_ , she pleaded silently.

"The staff listened, by the way," McCoy spoke in an undertone.

Sarek's expression grew warm. Apparently, he understood this odd verbal notation. His physician remained quizzical even as he gave his summary, but the most important sign was how McCoy relaxed as the reports finished. He'd never do that if Sarek was seriously ill.

The healer concluded with, "The virus was caught early, waylaying any chances of it becoming fatal. Sarek is responding well to treatments."

McCoy asked, "So you have to let it run its course at this point?"

"Yes, along with making the patient comfortable. Sarek could have remained on Kachides, but the major negotiation points were completed, and the leadership insisted he'd be allowed to recover in his own home with me accompanying him. However, his regular physician will replace me, and I will return to the conference."

The quick blast of the tempest outside subsided and the inner demon that had tried crawling past Saavik's controls fell away as if the storm had caused and fed it. _Sarek is fine_.

Without thinking about it, she leaned towards Spock and he looked down at her. He brushed the back of his hand against hers and she stretched her fingers to his. Ever since Tomed, where they had promised they would be there for each other for _pon farr_ , they touched each other. She felt sure it was so subtle that no one saw.

Sarek saw. So did McCoy. Neither gave any sign that they had, so Spock and Saavik remained oblivious.

Instead, the doctor asked, "Why haven't the news reports said anything about this?"

The young Vulcan aide, named Sek, answered, "I made the facts clear. Sarek is ill with the Ehines Virus and returned to his estate. At times it is fatal to Vulcans."

McCoy interrupted, "You didn't say if _he_ was a fatal case!"

The aide cocked his head. "Exactly, Doctor. I did not say Sarek was a fatal case because he is not."

Saavik internally shook her head at herself. "Sek is correct. If Sarek suffered at a terminal level, it would be announced. If the Kachidens took issue with his leaving the negotiations, it would be announced. Without these statements, Sek informed us Sarek recovered from an early stage of the virus with the Kachidens' approval to leave."

There was a time when she would never have said this next thing to Sarek, but that was long ago. "I beg pardon. I allowed my personal thoughts to cloud my judgment and misinterpreted Sek's reports."

Sek appeared ready to chastise her. _So young_. With her people's long-life spans, she was young too, but not like him. Her maturity and experience far outpaced his.

But Sarek made it clear that reprimanding her was not going to happen. McCoy spoke right after that.

"I did the same thing, Ambassador. I guess I should have seen it, given my experience."

Sek asked, "Did you make the mistake for the same reasons, Doctor?"

"That and just being human."

Sek frowned. "I do not understand."

Spock responded, "Do not look for logic in Doctor McCoy."

The doctor snorted. "You can say that again."

That made it worse for the young aide. "You did not hear him the first time?"

Seth Russell, the man who had followed Saavik's wishes, came up from behind the young Vulcan. "While we're apologizing, I'm adding mine. I asked Sek what he was doing for news releases, but I didn't read them or follow up. I'm sorry, Ambassador."

"More importantly, Mr. Russell," Sarek said, "let us release another report, this one with all the asked for information. Aide Sek, I suggest you increase your Xenology studies with a focus on communication."

The young Vulcan nodded and followed Russell, but Spock interceded.

"Sek, explain why you did not allow Saavik or the doctor to speak with me."

The aide returned to being confused. "It was per your instructions, Ambassador Spock. You stated you must focus on your Kachides studies and do not allow interruptions."

_No one can say Sek does not follow orders._

Spock was forced to nod. "Correct. However, we will later discuss who can and cannot interrupt me."

With the aides gone, Saavik asked Spock, "Kachides studies?"

"In the event, they wished an ambassador of higher ranking, after all, I would go in Sarek's place."

"So that's why you came back to Vulcan," McCoy said.

But Spock shook his head. "I arranged my return home when they contacted me to say my father was ill. It was during my travel that we discussed the Kachidens."

With that pleasant announcement, Sarek gave Saavik a feigned light glance. "What are your plans now?"

_He seems… apprehensive._

"I extended my leave as I did not know what I would find here. My plans were to travel to my house for clothing and then, if you will agree, I will stay in my room here until you are well."

He appeared to relax at the news she'd be here in the house. So did Spock.

"If you don't mind, Ambassador," McCoy tacked on, "I'd like to stay too."

"By all means, Doctor. We will have your room made ready as well."

"Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll call a few people."

That left Saavik, Spock, and Sarek. She began to leave too to get what items she'd need while she stayed here. "I shall return within the hour," she said and stopped, side by side with the older ambassador. She said nothing for a long moment. "I once promised Spock that if he were lost, I would find him."

"Lost?"

"Part of a larger story. Consider it symbolic."

He slowly nodded. "I know you would find Spock." He captured her eyes. "I would go after you. And I know you would do so for me."

Her eyes sparkled. "Assumption?"

"No." Master diplomat that he was, he combined warmth with teasing in an answer to the challenge in her gaze. "You have done so today when you came after hearing I was ill."

"Just so," she said softly and left for her house.


	2. Chapter 2

"So Sarek's all right," McCoy finished.

Chekov, Uhura, and Sulu on the screen in front of him all relaxed in their seats. Their quiet relief was audible.

The doctor sat in a large chair in Sarek's and Spock's home office at the latter's own desk. The large antique was a gift from Sarek's parents when their son was made an ambassador. It once belonged to Stron, and his father before him, and now Solkar's great-grandson inherited it.

The office was much like Sarek and Spock's offices in ShiKahr: a warm palette of terracotta colors, tapestries, and art including a large oil painting on the wall to the side of the desk. In it, Amanda sat in a chair, husband and son at her shoulders. It did a wonderful job of capturing Amanda's spark, Sarek's dignity, and the son who combined the two. The orange, gold, and black drape covering the chair back blended well with the room's colors; Amanda had given this to Sarek and he'd brought it home when she had passed.

The office door was open and lytherette music floated in from another room. McCoy wondered if it was Spock or Sarek who played.

Sulu asked, already knowing the answer, "Saavik's with you?"

McCoy replied airily, "You mean the Lady of the House? Oh, she's here."

"What does that mean?" Uhura asked.

"That apparently part of her and Spock being much more touchy-feely is her being the de facto woman of the family."

Sulu smiled. "Amanda would have loved that."

"Vhat about Sarek?" Chekov asked.

"Proud as can be," McCoy answered. "It's good because he needs pleasant surroundings, even if his virus is in the early stage."

Uhura apparently still thought over the doctor's earlier point. "They _do_ touch a lot more if they think they're alone," she murmured. "Something happened at Tomed."

McCoy shot up his eyebrows. "Did it?"

She gave him a dazzling grin. "You're terrible at playing innocent, Leonard."

"Sorry, doctor-patient confidentiality. Literally," he muttered with some aggravation as he remembered how Saavik had tricked him into it. "Notice I didn't deny it, but I didn't agree either. The critical point is, I still think I could win the pool."

Chekov's face bunched up and his graying bangs flopped near his eyes. "Vhat pool?"

"The one that says when they'll stop dancing around each other and tell each other everything."

Sulu and Uhura laughed as Chekov argued, "I don't remember any pool."

"That's no excuse for not paying up when I win."

McCoy noticed Chekov grew quiet. "Pavel?"

The navigator now Admiral leaned forward. "I feel bad for them. Ve have all lost loves. I vould bet ve have all wanted someone ve couldn't have. But they can and they could lose that because they don't see it."

"I think they will," Uhura replied. One thing about her being the head of Starfleet Intelligence: her office was soundproofed. So, it was quiet, unlike the starship gentle noises and station life for Sulu and Chekov. "Whatever Leonard is hiding about Tomed, they showed they're so _close_ now to reaching that place where they tell each other. It's written all over them."

McCoy wanted to reply but each of their three faces turned into masks, like ensigns getting caught by their captain. _What the-?_

Sarek answered the unasked question by speaking quietly from the doorway. The former _Enterprise_ crewmembers on the screen, all in powerful positions, found reasons to hurriedly sign off right away.

"Cowards," the doctor snarled in a whisper before turning around in his chair and greeting the Vulcan. The lytherette music continued. "I thought that might be you playing. Obviously, it must be Spock." The melody stopped. "Or not."

"It is Spock." Sarek strode to his own chair and sat down at his desk. The office's luxurious comfort kept the atmosphere from turning formal or awkward. "He has worked through the nights since he arrived home. He decided he would take the time Saavik is away to play the lytherette. He contacted her at her house and she will aide him in his mission studies as well as their own research projects. No doubt she has returned."

 _And that's why he stopped_. Except the music began again and took on a different tone, slower and provocative, and McCoy pictured Saavik curled next to Spock as they quietly talked as he played.

The shutters on the windows lining the corner behind Sarek stayed closed, but none covered the view through the door that made one of the private entrances to the garden. The window did tint itself against the morning light to block the heat. McCoy watched clouds gathering into a darkened storm and heard distant thunder. He once saw one of Vulcan's rare rain storms where the drops dried in the air. _Maybe since it's earlier in the morning, I'll get to see them reach the ground._

"Sarek," he said, grabbing the bull by the horns. "I'm sure you heard some of what we were saying. I want you to know this wasn't idle gossip about something private. We've known both Spock and Saavik for a long time and we only want the best for them."

Sarek forestalled any more apologies before he settled back with his arms resting on the chair's and his hands folded over each other. "I do have a general sense of your conversation. Am I correct in saying you see Spock and Saavik's relationship as I do? Please be open with your thoughts."

"Gladly, but I first need to know what you think their relationship is. I can't say I agree with it without knowing what it is, as cliché as that is to say."

The thunder rolled closer as Sarek's gaze flicked downwards and McCoy gave him credit for talking openly about the private subject.

"For some time," Sarek spoke, "I have seen their relationship evolve where they clearly chose each other, including the time when my wife was alive. I suspect Valeris used it against them with her falsehoods to separate them. Do you know the contents of her letters?"

"Valeris," McCoy grumbled, "I still haven't forgiven her for the damage she did. If her handiwork manages to keep Spock and Saavik apart for good, then… ah hell, I don't know what I can do. If only Spock had told Saavik what was in his supposed letter, this whole thing could have been solved years ago!"

Sarek asked what that was, but McCoy suddenly became reluctant to discuss it, saying it was something… personal between them.

But Sarek put it together. "As it is something Spock believes a delicate subject, something to do with Saavik, am I correct in believing it spoke of an... attraction for her?"

McCoy grinned and shook his head at himself. "Should've known better to think you wouldn't get it. Yeah, that's it exactly. I only know because it happened - him realizing he was attracted, I mean - before he died. He thought she needed time, and he didn't know if she'd return how he felt. When that phony letter said Saavik found out, that she was - honored - by the attraction but couldn't return it, so she felt she'd better not see him anymore. Well, you see how that hurt him. By the way, you only brought up his letter. Do you know what's in Saavik's?"

"Through chance, yes, I do."

Neither said more because that _was_ private: the _pon farr_ Spock had shared with Saavik on Genesis. McCoy did venture to say, "It's something else that made them closer."

Sarek nodded. "I noticed at the _fal tor pan_ , although I did not understand the reaction then."

"I think they're - excuse the term - scared to get hurt again. It's too close to what happened before when Valeris ended things between them. They're good friends - very close ones. They don't want to lose that." _And if you knew what happened at Tomed_. _But then, you walked in and saw them when I did._ Sarek certainly could figure that out as well. McCoy stood his head again. "The dance they're doing around each other is making me dizzy."

"Doctor, you will remember when we clearly interrupted something between them on Tomed."

 _Yep, he worked it out_.

"Spock asked to speak with me on what my opinion was regarding Saavik. I thought he meant to inform me they had at last spoken with each other. But they had not."

 _Okay, he doesn't know all of it_.

"Your theory of their avoiding the pain of rejection would explain it."

"To be fair," McCoy said, "Spock waited for other reasons in the beginning. Saavik built her career, and Spock switched his, so he also needed time to establish himself. So, they stood there, supporting each other, waiting." He added on the change in their relationship from teacher and student to where they could explore the possibility of something else. "Now, I see two reasons. One, neither of them believes that the other one wants them. I've told each of them that it's true, but they believe I'm projecting something. What really makes me bang my head against the wall is, Spock will say that if Saavik wanted him, she'd have said so or given him a sign. When I point out she's given him plenty of signs, he doesn't believe it. She's the same about him. Which leads to yes, they fear rejection. They're the only two people who don't see it. Everyone else does."

Sarek's head came up on that and then he slowly nodded. "Do you believe they will ever see it for themselves?"

"Actually, yes I do. I just worry that they'll take too long and lose time they could have had together." The doctor paused before he told Sarek, "I'm guessing you're thinking the same way we are. I hate seeing them so close together, but not seeing what's in front of them. They're lonely, Sarek. I think, and this is my humble opinion, they belong together. They chose each other a long time ago. You can see it in the way they act with each other. But they'd be floored to find out that the other felt the same way."

Sarek's hands tightened on each other. "I certainly understand the aloneness of not having the one you want."

 _I bet you do, you poor man. You're suffering without Amanda_.

McCoy added, "I didn't recognize it when I was falling for my wife. Of course, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear _everything_ on my sleeve. So, Caroline – my ex-wife, Joanna's mother – she knew, everybody knew how I felt, and that's the funny part."

Sarek agreed or thought he did. "You believe you recognize this in both Spock and Saavik."

"No, and that's the thing. It's better! They'll make it. And I know that because of my experience. I've been part of this, Sarek, everybody sees them wearing their hearts on their sleeves except each other, and I think, from knowing them, they can't see it because they're afraid of losing everything. Because they already lost each other once - twice in Saavik's case – and it destroyed them." _Once when Spock died, once when Valeris separated them_. "So, two of the bravest people I've ever met who I see risk everything else are afraid of risking this."

"Understandable. Even logical."

"Yeah. It's also damned aggravating."

It was Sarek's turn to pause. "I promised Spock never to interfere in his relationships. However, I have also promised Amanda's memory that I will point out he and Saavik are not avoiding pain. They avoid everything they want."

"Sometimes we need someone close to us to point out the obvious."

Sarek agreed. "I thought I could never have Amanda and if I could, I should still avoid her, believing I was not the choice for her. T'Qun pointed out the obvious to me. What I wanted is what Amanda wanted and the perfect choice for us both."

"T'Qun?"

"My first wife."

McCoy whistled under his breath to himself and muttered something about how good it was they could be amicable. _And lost a son together._ "Why do I know her name?"

"You met her," Sarek replied, calm. "At the ShiKahr ball held for the retiring Federation President in 2289."

"The high priestess? She ranks right under T'Lar?"

"That is correct. It has been a good path for her."

McCoy nearly whistled again but felt that pushed it. _And she gave Saavik the stamp of approval back then_.

As people froze wondering if the other important figure in Vulcan's elite would follow her statement of, "Ah, yes. One of the Sundered's hybrids," with support or rejection, anyone who wasn't paying attention did after that. McCoy knew admirals who would like to be able to pin someone to the spot and strip them down to their souls with one glance like T'Qun did to Saavik. He never asked Saavik what she was thinking while that intent look raked over her, but he heard Amanda hold her breath, saw Spock tense, and realized they were all just standing there like a group of raw cadets. And they weren't the ones under scrutiny.

In the end, T'Qun nodded once and spoke into that tense pause. "A most excellent beginning. I anticipate each new step."

It felt like the planet itself let out the breath it had been holding.

"I'm not as amicable with my ex-wife," McCoy said. "Too much bad happened and I admit, if I knew I'd go through it ahead of time, I'd be hard-pressed to do it again. The only reason I would is to have my daughter. Or if you would tell me that I'd have the same pain in my next relationship, I'd run the other way."

He did not mention Natira who he had shared an intense, hours old relationship, even a marriage. It didn't compare to Sarek's marriage to Amanda; but he heard Natira asked him again, "You have lived a lonely life?"

"Yes," he had admitted, "very lonely."

That was how he recognized it in Spock and Saavik, and how he knew they could have as Natira said - _There will be no more loneliness for you._ – and his own words: _the chance to be happy for the first time in my life_.

McCoy swallowed against the loss, but his voice rasped with it. "But, what do you do? Quite frankly, Sarek, if you want to pick 'em up by the back of their necks and shake them 'til they see reason, I'll help. Did I say something wrong?"

Sarek's eyes found Amanda in the painting. "My wife said nearly the identical thing."

The doctor smiled. "Then I'm flattered to be in such company."

"Leonard." McCoy couldn't believe he heard Sarek just use his name. "You know them both well and you honestly believe what we have said true?"

 _Damn_. With the utmost seriousness, he answered. "Yes, I do. All of it. Somebody must tell them not to be afraid. Somebody they'll listen to."

A soft noise drew him back to garden door's window: raindrops. They dried immediately, but they were there. Actual raindrops. They blurred the world and turned it soft and cozy.

"It seems it's a day for seeing what's possible," McCoy finished.

He left a thoughtful father.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I need to fix the T'Pau reference in Chapter 1 because I remembered Spock also thought she had died in "Vulcan's Forge", so I will fix that. Spock refers to events in "Just Another Little Training Cruise" by AC Crispin, where he met Rrelthiz.

Beautiful dark wood, the color of Terran mahogany, lined the archway that Sarek passed through. The arch marked going into the private section of the house. The wood was all that was left of the once plentiful timber from his family's early beginnings, and when he walked into the living room, the stone forming the one wall and the pillars lining the large window came from the same first mountain homes his ancestors forged.

He took his usual seat in Amanda's big, antique rocker as Spock played a soft tune of his own on the lytherette. Saavik had left only a moment before on an errand, as Sarek well knew since he had called her to the office and sent her to the task. If he timed this right, she'd return when he needed her.

But first, he watched his son play and drew in the peace surrounding them. He might irrevocably damage it with what he planned, but he did this for his child and a parent didn't always have the luxury of being acknowledged for what they did.

Sarek took another moment to listen to the music as he looked to the garden and the Llangon Mountains beyond. The garden he had built with Amanda and where their son had grown up.

"My son," he began at last. "I must speak with you on a personal matter."

Spock's eyes had flicked up when his father called him, but on this last sentence, he carefully leaned his lytherette next to him on the sofa's arm.

Sarek steadied himself. He had reached a point where his virus barely troubled him, except in this moment where he pushed down a sense of weakness. "You may prefer not to discuss it; however, it is for your sake that I speak and I cannot allow this particular illogic to continue."

The careful way Spock reacted intensified. "Illogic?"

"Yes. You come by it naturally in this action."

Spock frowned. "You refer to Mother."

"I refer to myself." Sarek's soft voice didn't stop his son's frown from turning to his eyebrows flying up into his hair. "I nearly did not tell your mother how I wanted her for my wife until I heeded someone I respected. I could have lost all the years I had with Amanda and with you."

"It is illogical to speculate on what has not happened," Spock reminded his father and Sarek caught the note of rebelliousness. The dark cloud of T'Pring hovered overhead.

He refused to answer it. It would harm what he tried to do. "It is, except when used as historical evidence on a current action. I convinced myself it was not time to speak with Amanda and would have lost her… as you could lose the life you can build with Saavik." He forestalled Spock's protest. "I believe I know your reasons and they are understandable. However, like me, you miss what is obvious to everyone who knows you. Perhaps, you will heed someone you respect as well."

"Father-"

Sarek unexpectedly told the computer to play a recording; a large screen appeared in the stone wall and lit with the playback from where he pinpointed. He caught the shadow of a slim form stopping at the doorway, no doubt from also seeing who lay center in the video.

Amanda: wane, thin, lying in bed with pillows propping her up, and recording messages she wanted to pass on before she died. In this one, she didn't stop it as she grabbed her husband's hand, talking openly about her sadness, her fear, and her longing to have more time in this life.

Except, Sarek moved to the point after those words. Even then, his wife's eyes lit with a twinkling smile when she looked up into his face. He felt the touch of her hand and mind all over again, as her spirit and personality bubbled with life and her physical body faded.

"Sarek, could you grab Spock and Saavik by the back of their necks and _shake_ them at some point?"

He clearly stiffened next to her. Despite that, Amanda continued, "This dance they're doing around each other instead of _to_ each other is infuriating. Maybe you don't see it yet, but when you do –" she smiled, "and you will - and if they're still clueless about how the other feels, give them a little push. Wake them up. The two idiots. I adore them, but _honestly_."

"Amanda," he asked on the screen, "you are certain of this?"

Her blue eyes shone. "Aren't you?"

Sarek began to speak in the here and now, but Spock's stunned voice stopped him. "She _was_ certain. She spoke of it with me. It must have been… shortly before this."

"She spoke with Saavik as well," Sarek told him, earning another speechless look from his son. But he said no more about it. At this point, that private conversation could only be told by Saavik herself.

And in she came with a fire from Vulcan's Forge, no longer a shadow at the doorway. "Sarek! You have no right to do this! Did you think I would stand for this – intrusion – for either myself or Spock? I do not understand why this arrangement includes me, but that inclusion does not change my argument. Amanda's illness could cause such lapses in judgment. Yours, however, has no such excuse."

Spock rose to his feet and went to stand with her. "Saavik." His voice rumbled both gentle and strong, the same way he looked at her. Then in the true form of her name, " _Sa'Av Ik_."

Sarek felt certain that the two of them knew each other's private names, but his son would use that when they were alone. He waited for Spock to explain why his father played Amanda's recording.

" _Sa'Av Ik_ ," he repeated, stroking each syllable in a verbal caress, "this includes you for the most important reason. Because I can tell you the moment I first looked at you and saw you had become an amazing woman. One that mystified me for you were the Saavik I knew and the new woman Saavik who attracted me. More than attracted me. In one moment, I touched you and with the power of who you are igniting me, I knew with no doubts you are the one I choose. Your mind, your warmth, your strength, your absolute acceptance of me – you are everything good about Vulcan's logic and everything fascinating about its heart. Several Terran cultures would say you are my other half, but they would be wrong. You manage the extraordinary: you are both my halves and more importantly, you are the part of me that is no halves at all. You are what makes me unique, what makes me Spock as you are uniquely Saavik. I promised myself to give you time to build your life as I waited – and _hoped_ , that when you were ready, you would choose me."

Sarek kept carefully quiet. He never expected his son to speak like this and the _way_ he had: so certain, so _sure_. Saavik obviously never anticipated it either; she was so taken aback, she hadn't taken hold of her expression, which was why Sarek tried blending into the background, so he didn't disturb the moment. He needed to leave.

Saavik saved him. Never looking anywhere but at Spock, she said, "Sarek, you must excuse us."

She said it in a hurried, "Sarekyoumustexcuseus," as part of her reaction to Spock's words. No matter; he bobbed his head and slipped away. He informed the staff that Saavik and Spock were not to be interrupted before he decided against returning to his room and instead went into the garden he and his wife had created. Where her ashes had been scattered.

_Amanda, you are certain of this?_

The way she had said, _Aren't you?_

A warm breeze drifted through and mixed with the fountain's splashing. _Yes, my wife. I am_.

. . . .

While Spock waited for his father to be out of hearing distance, his eyes played on Saavik's beautiful, astounded features.

" _Spock_ ," she whispered. "How long?"

She didn't ask if he meant what he had said; she knew he did. He gave her both the Stardate as well as explaining, "It was the first time we met Rrelthiz."

She gave a bare shake of her head, eyes locked to his. "All that time..."

He stepped backward to the sofa with no word and she came with him like he was tied to her. In many ways, he was. He expected her to sit next to him, but she knelt with grace in front of him.

"Spock! Why did you never say anything?"

He repeated the reason he gave her a minute ago and added others: to give her time to build her career, to not have her come to him out of debt, and for her to show signs of wanting him in return. And then…

"And then?" she asked intently. He saw the connections happen behind her eyes before he could say anything. She stilled. "Valeris."

The name dropped like a heavy stone into their calm.

Saavik grasped the rest of it like so many other times she jumped ahead of him in her thinking. This time, she saw what he wanted to say before he said it. " _This_ was the letter Valeris sent to you supposedly from me. And it said I ended our association because of it."

She didn't ask, but he answered, "Yes."

"Spock," she said, putting a hand on either side of his legs, "I told you I would never reject you. I never have and never will. The same is true now. How could you think it?"

He held back from touching her for the simple reason that he wanted this building anticipation. They were like a moment years ago after Amanda's death when they spoke of Genesis. He was acutely aware of how close she was to him, a mere a hand's breadth away. "To be fair, Saavik, you believed I would reject you over Genesis."

"It is different."

"It is not." He imagined what her lips would feel like under his hand. How her _hand_ would feel. "After we healed from Valeris, I saw no signs that you thought the same way about me."

She leaned forward, her body brushing his legs ever so slightly. He tasted her breath on his lips. "Spock, I told you on Tomed that if you came to me, I would welcome you." He pointed out this offer was for _pon farr_ , and she frowned. "Do you think I make this agreement with all unbonded males? The offer was to you, only you, because -" She swallowed and leaned back. "You are saying you have made this offer to others." Her mouth clenched, and she said nothing for half a second before she spoke through bared teeth. Her eyes flashed, and her hands grabbed the end of the sofa. " _Who?_ "

The virtually non-existent space between them was enough for him to sense the waves coming from her mind. Something very ancient and very male awoke deep in Spock. Saavik was saying that he and no other was her Champion and that she was his as she gripped the cushions like the shaft of a _lirpa_ , wanting to face the person who sought to claim him from her. He knew the instinct well; he had felt it for her when he thought she chose another male for her past _pon farr_. That very primal part of him surged through him in victory: in all the people around her, she only saw him. Wanted him. Defended her right to him.

And he only saw her.

Spock's voice roughened as he used the words she once said to him, "I made the offer to no one else. No one has the claim to me that you do. No one can."

He had once told Chapel, _It is undignified for a woman to play servant to a man who is not hers._ But that was the thing:

He was Saavik's. Was she his?

 _It's time_. He took her hands in his and the heady kiss of her skin on his most sensitive fingers flushed his body with heat. "Saavik, when I say I want a marriage, I want a full one in all sense of it."

"I would agree to nothing else," she responded, her voice throaty. "And I deny you nothing."

Another pleasurable jolt ran through him and his brain nearly stopped working. "There is something else." He rubbed at her hands gently and her gaze grew heated. "Home… it is different for every person. For some, it is the planet they stand on. For Captain Kirk, it was the _Enterprise_. For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. It is each other."

Her expression softened. "We are."

"However, I still want our children to have a home here. I want them to have these roots we built even as we show them the universe. I believe it important for them."

" _Children_?"

She pulled back and stared at him as if she heard wrong. What had he done? Until now, she acted like he had: she felt _sure_ they were meant for this, that it was time to speak.

But now she sat on her heels and her mind shuttered itself.

Spock took a moment. "Yes, children. I thought on this and it – they are something I want. I know I haven't always thought this way, so I understand why you thought I had not changed."

She took hold of herself, but she sounded stiff. "Of course, you have your family to consider. Are you planning on adoption?"

He argued delicately, "I do not think of bloodlines. I think of us. We could adopt if you prefer."

"I see no other option unless-" Saavik pulled further away. "Are you asking for a surrogate?"

"No." What could possibly make her think so? "I meant the option that you somehow do not see. That we have children in the sense they are physically ours."

Oh… _of course_. She had even mentioned bloodlines.

Spock took back her hands and tugged her closer. "Saavik, no. You cannot think-"

"I _cannot_?" she fired back. "Cannot want another innocent child to lose to Thieurrull by inheriting it from me? How could anyone want that line to continue? _Especially_ yours?"

Spock put their joined hands over his heart so its steady beat could soothe them both. "Hellguard - _Thieurrull_ – is not a gene. Our children cannot inherit it. What they can inherit from you is strength, bravery, vibrancy, the desire to protect what is good, and discovering the wonders in the unknown, whether it is another world, another people, or something and someone already here. You cannot find fault with these qualities."

Saavik shot back, "I can't?"

"No, because they and others are what made T'Pren and my mother love you."

Her eyes flew wide and again sat thunderstruck. Both the women who she would call Mother if she could: T'Pren, the Vulcan woman on Hellguard who cared for her and Amanda who once said Saavik was an extraordinary gift from T'Pren.

"I know," Spock continued, "my mother listed these traits in one of her last messages. You heard it."

"I did," her voice barely there.

He wanted to go back to how it had been a few minutes ago. He thought, perhaps if he lightened it? "I grant you she also listed flaws. Stubbornness, for example. It could be a concern."

She gave him a dry, sidelong glance. "Only _my_ stubbornness?"

Spock lifted an eyebrow in response. In a moment, she asked, "Child _ren_?"

He nodded. "So, they have each other, a person who understands."

Saavik needed no more explanation for that, but she still hesitated. He captured her chin in his hand.

"Saavik, Avrách'laba," using her secret, _ahtía_ name, "whatever you want – to have children, to adopt, to have none – we will do. What is most important to me is _you_ , as my wife. The bonding will only show you what is already true. I am never not thinking of you and I already carry you with me. Saavik… I am not choosing to marry. I am choosing to marry _you_ , it is you or no one. Will you choose me? Marry me?"

She cupped her hand to his cheek, drawing a line along his jaw, and he caught both the smile flicking at the corners of her own mouth and the heat of her eyes. "Your propensity to lecture." She didn't just lean in, she moved so her body pressed against his legs and with her other hand, she spread her fingers so they softly captured his leg. "And I would choose no one else in these worlds but you."


	4. Chapter 4

Sometime later, McCoy came back to the house after getting a few things in ShiKahr, including a floppy, decidedly unVulcan, sunhat. He took it and his other purchases to his room to put away, finding his luggage waiting for him too.

He loved this space. The large window on the side of his bed was both tinted and shuddered to further cool the room. The wall behind his bed and the one across from it were painted a deep Prussian blue, a beautiful contrast to the room's dominant whites and light grays. His bedroom was large with two wide back chairs, and a small cushioned table that could also be a seat in the same gold. The large rug under his feet was an antique in more blues, silvers, and reds.

He stretched out his legs and settled back. He rested a whole second before Saavik and Spock signaled at the door and came in.

"There you two are!" he exclaimed. "I tried to find you earlier, but they said you couldn't be disturbed. I figured you were doing something with your research projects."

Saavik answered, "We were occupied, but not, however, for that reason." She looked to Spock at her side. McCoy realized later she let Spock alone be the one to tell him:

"Doctor, you will need to extend your trip or return to Vulcan in the near future."

McCoy sat upright. "Sarek?"

Spock shook his head. "No, my father continues to improve."

The doctor dropped back in his seat and grumbled. "Then why do I have to stick around here? Not to work on my tan if I want to survive it."

His old friend said, "To attend a betrothal ceremony."

McCoy shot to his feet, stunned, and then with a smile that dominated most of his face. Now he could see it, the way they stood with each other, the way Saavik looked up into Spock's face and he looked down into hers; the way their hands subtly played with each other. He felt like shouting so the entire Federation heard him. "It's about damned time."

"Yes, it is," Saavik answered simply.

The happiness swelled in his chest and he fought the lump in his throat. "You're finally making honest Vulcans of each other."

Spock merely flicked up one brow, but Saavik narrowed her eyes at him.

McCoy swallowed again. "I couldn't be happier for you two. I wish I knew a way to tell you how much."

"We know," Saavik answered softly and Spock made a point of tapping at his forehead in the same way McCoy had at the _fal tor pan_.

The doctor's grin found a way to grow bigger. "Good. Hey!" he shouted in the next second. "I can wear my new hat!" He snatched it up and plunked the floppy thing on his head.

"Or not," Saavik replied firmly.

The door signal chimed again and Sarek entered this time. He had changed from his sleeping robes to informal wear. _Because you know what's coming, don't you?_ McCoy thought, and understood how Spock's father didn't want to be in his nightgown in this so special moment.

"You wished to speak with me?" the senior ambassador questioned.

"Yes, Father." Spock drew closer to him and held a hand out for Saavik. "You stated I should heed someone I respect regarding Saavik and I. However, you left before telling me your thoughts or giving your approval."

McCoy saw something he never expected to see: Sarek lowered his gaze to his folded hands as he collected himself at this news that _he_ was a person his son respected. When he looked up again, the doctor got another surprise.

Because Sarek moved his gaze to Saavik. "What if I withhold my approval?"

"Father!" Spock jumped in as she stiffened, but she put a steadying hand on him, already claiming touches and moments with him as her own.

"The question is for me."

"It regards us _both_ ," he argued.

"Then allow me to answer for us." She never once looked away from Sarek, who remained expressionless. "If you refuse to give us your approval for one of several reasons you could state about me, I would discuss it with Spock. If he changes his decision, then I would withdraw. However, if he still wished to marry me, then we would do so without you. This holds true for anyone, such as Doctor McCoy or his other friends. I will marry Spock despite any objections if Spock will marry me."

A spark warmed Sarek's dark eyes. "As it should be."

McCoy elbowed Spock, now that he could breathe again, hoping his friend understood what just happened. Sarek made sure his son had a wife who wanted him for himself and for no other reason than that, as well as a mate who did not let someone stop her from being with him.

Sarek made the couple steps to Spock, once again the father who walked into this room with such hope. "My son, to answer your question, I told you two important points amidst other discussions on Tomed. The high regard I have for Saavik, as does the family and your friends, and how one day, you would understand why I said what I did to you. That day is today. I am pleased it has arrived at last."

Spock straightened to meet Sarek eye to eye. " _QSkut'He tnIaSv_ , Father."

Sarek gave a bare nod to keep their gazes even. " _w'QIeIb jHuonQ_ , my son." He looked back to Saavik. "And my daughter. It is said it matters not how your children arrive in your family. It matters only that they arrive. I would mark this case is an exemption. It is of great importance to me how you became – officially - my child."

" _QSkut'He tnIaSv_ , Father," she repeated softly.

McCoy found himself looking away, feeling like he intruded, but he reminded himself that if that was true, they would have told him to leave. His original thought was to ask Spock later what the Vulcan words meant, but he decided against it. If he was meant to know, they'd tell him.

"May I suggest another tradition?" He walked over to Saavik as she watched him. He tucked her hair behind one ear. "It's a little out of order. You probably would take this out at the betrothal ceremony, but the truth is, you could have taken it out years ago."

He tenderly removed the solitary earring in her left earlobe, the sign that a Vulcan woman was unbonded. She had worn one since she was of marriable age. This earring was silver, and one of Spock's memories, buried in McCoy's head from carrying his _katra_ , burst through with the moment when Spock first felt drawn to Saavik, watching the silvery earring dance in the light, and thought how the curve of her revealed ear was delicate, like the shell of a _veren_...

Saavik's head snapped around now, picking up on the memory because the doctor touched her. She went from him to Spock with her look, her lips parted.

McCoy thought of teasing her with an _I told you so_ , but it would ruin the mood.

He took her hand and cupped it. "Here, it represents a great deal, but not wearing it means even more." He laid the earring in her palm and closed her fingers over it. He bent over her hand like he'd kiss it, but because everything was so significantly Vulcan, he left the importance of her hand to Spock.

She searched his face and he got a sense of thoughtfulness. He _knew_ everything about how Spock felt about her, when it started, how deep it went from when his mind was also Spock's. How she truly never appreciated that, even questioned it, until now.

Saavik gave him a sense of what burned through her when she looked at Spock and how she had trusted that to McCoy on Tomed.

She took the earring from her hand and placed it in his, cupping his fingers over it like he had, then holding it between hers. "It is symbolic. Keep it for all you have kept close to you for the both of us."

McCoy didn't know what to say and the fact Spock didn't make a tongue-in-cheek comment on it spoke volumes.

Instead, Saavik went on to the older ambassador, "As we discuss traditions practiced out of order, Sarek, I must speak with you. It will not be wholly traditional as I have no family to represent me to you and Spock. Instead, I will do as I have always done: I will speak for myself. You know I intend it with no less respect."

"Hold on," McCoy caught himself saying. "Do I understand this right? The families meet to talk about if the bride and groom are right for each other?"

Saavik was obviously correct: she had no family to sit with Sarek and say why she was a good choice for Spock. Of course, she also had no family who would listen about why Spock was the right choice for her.

She was accurate on the other point too: Saavik spoke for herself. She needed no one else.

But…

McCoy cleared his throat. "I've seen people on Earth do that too, so I'm familiar with it. I could represent Saavik. I've known her a long time and know a lot about her." She frowned, and he didn't blame her. He horned in on something very special. "I'd be more of an official representative than… well, anything else. I'm thinking that you speak with Sarek," he told her, "and I'll talk with Spock."

Her dark eyes darted between his blue ones and she finally nodded, no doubt thinking this was less about Vulcan tradition and more about McCoy wanting to speak with Spock.

She was almost right.

"I shall be honored, ma'am," the doctor told her at her nod.

"You honor me, Doctor," she said formally.

Sarek swept a hand to the door to show she should precede him to the hallway where they could walk together to somewhere else in the house.

McCoy waited for the door to shut before he told Spock, "The funny thing is, I can't find the words to tell you how happy I feel right now, but I can tell you what Jim would say. He'd tell you he was glad and don't be like him. Don't ever think it means a choice between being with Saavik and your work. That's Jim and you know it. But you can have both, Spock. Your work and her. She's not only someone to be there for you, she's now one of the big reasons for you to do what you do. Don't cheat yourself by thinking you can't. You're not like me either. You won't screw it up. Be smarter than that."

He saw a light surge in Spock's eyes. "Thank you, Doctor. Leonard."

"You're welcome. And since I've put myself in the giving advice business, let me say something else. Marriage, love… they're like life itself. They're not meant to be easy. They're meant to be worth it."

Spock gave it serious consideration and the light only grew as he imagined his future with Saavik. "If you learned this in your own marriages—"

"I didn't learn it in my marriages. I learned it by seeing your parents'." McCoy clapped his hand on Spock's shoulder.

He finally let go and dropped back into his chair, folding his hands in a deliberate, Vulcan way. "So! As Saavik's official representative, why should I let you marry her? What do you bring to the table? I warn you: I'm tough to impress."

. . . .

McCoy sat in front of the large screen at Spock's desk once more and waited while Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura popped into view. He clapped his hands and then rubbed them vigorously in excitement.

"You're going to get the official invitation," he started, "once they pick the date, but I wanted to tell you personally before that."

He read their expressions like signs eight feet high and knew their minds put together _invitation_ and _picked the date_.

Sulu's grin grew like a sunrise. "This is serious?"

"Yep," McCoy answered.

"Well it's about time," Uhura added whose smile burst on her face.

"That's what I said."

Chekov leaned into the screen. "Vonderful! That is vonderful news!"

"The best," McCoy agreed. "It leads to other good news. I, my friends, win the pool."

" _Vhat_ pool!" the Russian tried again.

Uhura grinned. "How did you supposedly do that?"

"I said it'd be before we all died. Pay up."


	5. Chapter 5

Sarek's flitter passed into the valley at the base of Mount Seleya and landed. His summons to come here stated he didn't need to climb the thousand steps to the Temple where his second son was given life again, or to the Hall of Thought where _katras_ started their next life. Instead, he walked a number of steps far, far less than a thousand into the settlement built into the red rock, like the stone in his home. Here, the people supported the Adepts and Elders, providing the food, materials, and everything else for those who served the higher cause up above.

The Adepts had sent for him. But why? Of course, they heard about Spock and Saavik's betrothal. Sarek announced the engagement himself shortly after talking with Saavik, and asked T'Leq, matriarch of the family with T'Pau gone, to officiate at the ceremony. As important as his family and this news was, he did not understand the summons.

The open-air steps took him to a double door four times his height and another four his width, from when Seleya housed a bastion for Vulcan's Old Wars before it became the cradle of Vulcan's peace. One door's engravings displayed warriors on foot and astride on their loyal _vlaittlya_ mounts, heavier and with a better natural armor than the modern _khu'unla_ : a larger Terran triceratops, red skinned with a black mane and speed. Sehlats trotted alongside, nearly becoming extinct during the wars as the _vlaittlya_ had.

The other door portrayed Surak surrounded by the first people of his new way, one with a dagger almost hidden in his robes, symbolizing those that betrayed the great leader. But's Surak's eyes traveled over who stood in front of the entrance, calm and benign.

A guard stood on either side, armed traditionally with _lirpas_ and _ahn'woons_ , as well as modern phasers. Sarek knew he looked at a hint about his being summoned here, but he still did not guess at who waited for him on the other side of the ancient entrance. It opened with deep tones like the planet unlocking its heart.

" _T'Lar_."

Everything became more confusing. He began to kneel.

"It is unnecessary, Sarek," she said in that voice as ancient and mystical as Vulcan and Seleya itself. "You are to be congratulated. Spock is to marry Saavik, is that not correct? Set for Day 2 of the first week of Sharveen."

"That is correct," he answered, waiting to hear the real reason he was brought here. An Elder coming down from the Temple for a betrothal? "Both for the date and event, and my good fortune in having a new daughter join the family, especially one as Saavik."

"Agreed. It is why you were summoned. Come, we have much to discuss." She turned back into the mountain and Sarek followed. He quickly grew thankful that the few hours rest he had this afternoon allowed him to keep up with T'Lar despite the last vestiges of his illness. She climbed steps and walked pathways and bridges quite quickly, despite how much older she was.

She stopped. "Here."

He could tell these chambers were sunk deep in the mountain. Hallways led to other meditation chambers, but she brought him to the mouth of the one in front of them.

T'Lar announced inside, "You gave instruction to not disturb your reflections unless particular events occurred. One of them has. It is time to end your exile."

Sarek peered into the darkness as a form in Adept white emerged. T'Lar put a deep, red robe around the other woman's shoulders to protect against the growing night's winds.

Sarek's control barely held back the full exclamation. "T'Pau!"

Something made her eyes alight when she saw them; until that moment, her mind had still been inside the mountain. She placed a bony hand on his arm. "Sarek."

Once more, he began to kneel but she prevented it. She was his family, not world leader in this moment. "T'Pau! We believed you had died."

"I know." Her fingers gently tightened. "It was necessary."

"For fifty years?"

"We do what we must for our people and our planet's futures."

One thing would make her withdraw, to leave Vulcan - and her family - alone without her. "You believe that future is threatened?"

She suddenly sounded tired. "That will depend on who shoulders it." The light came back. "Now, the betrothal."

He stiffened. "T'Pau, my children. Is it their futures you see threatened?"

"No. We see them bringing us out of the darkness that is coming."

T'Lar finally spoke again. "If they chose other mates or no mates at all, it would have weakened them. Together, they not only endure but prosper and the Federation with them."

Sarek had his own destiny with his world; he had never run from that burden. But now, hearing this: "My children have already sacrificed greatly for Vulcan and the Federation. Can that not be enough?"

T'Pau answered as his leader. "No, Sarek. You know well we may always be called to something greater."

"Then allow me to take this burden for them. I will carry the weight of this future."

She became his family again. "You would serve it well as you always have. However, this will date past our lifetimes and into their hands. It is for younger, yet still experienced shoulders to carry."

He did not have to say anymore. She knew what he thought.

She finished. "Now, they _are_ our children and at last - at last - that will actually be true. No longer will Saavik be honorary. It is all we – and they - need be concerned with, their betrothal and marriage. They have time, Sarek. Time for each other and their work, even a family if they so desire."

And perhaps, just _perhaps_ , Sarek thought this future was not what T'Pau believed.

. . . .

Saavik found Spock in the garden, simply standing at the border of the plants needing regular watering and the desert blooms. Familiar music played in the background, but she focused on him. Handsome, brilliant, amazing Spock.

Hers.

"Doctor McCoy informs me you convinced him to allow the marriage."

"You will be pleased to note that he was quite vigorous in his representing you." He flicked up a brow. "Your talk with my father went equally well?"

She nodded, still carrying the sense of… _completeness_ from Spock telling her he wanted her and Sarek's approval. "He was most impressed by my last statement."

Spock's eyebrow lifted higher in question.

"I swore I would always place you before all the worlds and I would never fail to make sure you knew how important you are above all else to me."

He came to her and reached out a hand. "Beyond fascinating, that I can now do this." He cupped her cheek, then ran his thumb over her lips. Her eyes grew smoky and darkened further when he moved his hand to stroke her mouth this time with his paired fingers.

The background music rose to her attention. "This… this is the music we danced to at the ShiKahr Ball."

His dark eyes reflected the moment. "Yes."

"I have often wondered what you thought that night."

Spock held out his hand to her and Saavik slipped her fingers into his just as she slipped herself into his arms. What they thought and felt that night long ago poured between them.

Aloud, he said, "I was wrong that night. I claimed you for that dance from that man when you were not mine to claim."

They fitted into each other. He was the hearth to her fire, wrapping himself around her flame, giving it a home. She was fire to his hearth, warming him so he was never cold and empty again.

Out loud, she said, "You were not wrong." And in his mind, she whispered, " _I was yours even then_."


End file.
